Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Kai Ling tried to kill me during dance today. By knocking a fac over while i was sitting beside it. Didnt work tho. I'm still alive and well. Which is more than i can say for that fan.. Kai Ling Attempted murder! I'm gonna report her! No la.. i not so bad. But dunno. She also tried to kill Yan Yan and Melissa.. cos i was sitting with them. O well. Thats it.. >.<
The world went by at [11:50 AM]
Ever wondered how things can take on a total twist in just seconds? One second you could be shouting or jumping for joy, the next, crying your heart out. And not tears of joy, mind you. One second you could be the second richest man on earth, the next, a poor beggar on the streets.
Oh well, it is yet another imperfection of life. One of many which we will experience, yet never ever understand. One moment you could be so helplessly in love, the next, laying face down in the gutter, dying of heartbreak.
One minute the world would be for you. You could be feeling like nothing could go wrong ever again. Yet, something does. And the next moment,at the blink of an eye, the whole world comes crashing down. Turning its back on you. And you feel helpless. Unwanted. Unloved. Uncared for. And you start whining "How could this happen to me? I made my mitakes, got nowhere to run, the night goes on as I'm fading away, I'm sick of this life. I just wanna scream.. How could this happen to me?!"
But nobody hears you. Its like the thing i wrote last time:
A call for help.
A plea of innocence.
But nobody's listening.
Well, as i said, it is an imperfection of life. I'll end this with 2 notes.
1)Caesby owes me 5 bucks.
2)Pimples are like popup ads. They're irritating, there are too many of them, and they.. just.. pop up.
TKGS MERGE WITH VS?!?! Dream on Mrs Tan.
Damn newspaper article make girls sound so despo.
The world went by at [2:34 AM]
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Yea! For once, i'm gonna write an actual blog post. heh.
So fun sia today.. dunno why..
So blah blah blah woke up ate a breakfast of wan ton mee.. so nice.heh. After that went to pick up my sister.. then went to ntuc. Most of the stuff bought was my snax.. Chocolate! yumms. Was like dying of lack of chocolate luhh. Anyway.. after that went to ballet.. blah blah..
After ballet went to play basketball. With you-know-who luhh. Who else i know would play basketball with me man. It was so fun! For once, the court was so empty. Only this nerdy looking guy and his gf were there. The gf was semi-pretty. The guy looked like 1*bleep*2. Heh.
Ya so Oliver played one-on-one with the toot guy. Score was like 9:11. Toot guy won. Ugh. Oliver's rebounding not very good. Unlike me. Wee. My rebounding rocks. Ok ego level rising.. haha.
So ya we like did a little shooting after that.. and Oliver coached me a little. I scored my 3rd 3-pointer today! so happy! And.. uh.. ya thats about it. O ya then i like went into a state of depression. Oliver was like saying i looked so depressed and whatnot. Haha. I told him thats how i looked most of the time. So we sat down and talked abit..
*This paragraph is censored. Not suitable for Anyone*
Then i was like holding on to Oliver's ball refusing to let go. No wait.. that sounded SO wrong... I was holding on to Oliver's BASKETball and refused to let go. Haha. Then he was like.. "Give me the ball la! Or i will follow you and take it away!" *something like that. Can't rmb. heh.*
Yea.. so when he finally managed to scatch it outta my hands, i was like trying to get it back.. then gave up. So he went to sit down. Then i tried getting it from him again. Tried poking his neck.. heh. *poke poke* Didnt work. And apparently he's not ticklish. So cant tickle him. Heh.So um.. just sat there and stared at him. Torture by LOOKING. is that possible? haha.
After that he had to go home.. My parents picked me up and went to Parkway. Went to Banquet to eat. Saw Samantha Lee and Qian Hua there. Havent seen them for so long man. Miss them. Haha. O they were with 3 guys.. oOo... haha. QH look so punkish now man.. got lower lip piercing.. and the ear there also got. *dunno what that part of the ear its called. heh* Sam looks good. as usual. Sigh. So jealous. >.<
Yup so i ate noodles.. then after that went to giant and mom bought a portable boombox. Then went to Dunman foodcourt for dinner. Haha. The two meals i had were only one hour apart. Heh.
Yup thats about it. Except for the fact that the song "Tong Hua" is still stuck in my head. O well. Gonna bathe now.. me stinky n dirrty. hehx.
Sayonara!
The world went by at [12:56 PM]
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
If only it happens in real life.
I think.. this song most describes my feelings now...
Losing You
Sitting here alone thinking it through
Trying to convince myself that i'm not losing you.
Why can't you just forget the things i said
I was angry at the time but now i cleared my head
I was so strong, where did it all go wrong
So tell me why, i'm swimming against the tide
And i'm praying for a lifeline, cos i'm
Losing you
So tell me why, you don't care enough to try
Are you giving up this fight, i can't stand,
Wont stand, losing you
You don't have to say a word its in your eyes
What can i do to convince you we need more time
And i know i may have made a few mistakes
But losing you is just too much for me to take
It was so strong, where did it all go wrong
So tell me what to say
Because i need, a chance to change
And i wont let you walk away..
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I love you alot. And to let you go.. well its hard, isnt it.
The world went by at [7:32 PM]
Monday, August 22, 2005
Friends come and friends go. Is it time now for you to go?
I miss you so much... and now you smash my face down into the dirt and abandon me without so much as a goodbye. Give me a chance to prove to you how much u really mean to me. Please.
The pain. The agony. The hurt of seeing you like this. You're putting yourself down because of me. Am i really the cause of all this? I know you're trying to help.. but is it worth all the pain?
I know what you're saying is not only hurting me, but hurting you as well. Even though you're putting up a strong front, trying to forget me, you can't. I can't either.
Love is a horrible thing, isnt it. It feels so good... yet...
You call me "the one". Yet you can't accept me. Why is that?
I love you loads and i hope you do too... I hope that whatever descision u make, it is the right one.
I Love You. Forever and ever.
I miss you as much as u miss me and more.
I hurt much more than you'll ever know. Thanks alot.
The world went by at [8:25 PM]
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
A little something to describe my feelings..
Friendships come and friendships go
But they will always remain in my mind
As a distant memory of time
~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~
In a world which sees no brightness in you
You will be the one who lights up my life
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Diminish my existance
Banish me from this land
Replace me with the devil
For i am
Unwanted unloved unknown
By all.
.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.
Trying to break away
Away from this life
This sorrow
This pain
This guilt
My life is but a toy
Of which you play
Destroy..
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
A plea for help
A cry of innocence
Bu nobody's listening
.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.
Staring at a blank wall
Loneliness seems to be my best friend now
Tears are a constant visitor
What i thought was friendship; love
Now haunts me as a memory...
The world went by at [8:29 PM]
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Sitting here
Missing you
Wondering what I'd do without you by my side.
If only
It were you and me
Together forever on this roller coaster ride
Time has passed
The days have been numbered
You have been with me
Through rain and thunder
Just wanna tell you
With all my heart
Together forever
For we will never part
I Love You
I Miss You
I wonder where you are
And if you're near or far
But sadly
You're not with me
The memories were then
When will I see you again?
The world went by at [11:47 AM]
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Staring at a blank wall
Loneliness seems to be my best friend now.
A Letter.
Hello Stranger,
I Miss you. Where are you? I'm not good at writing letters, but there's no harm in trying..
You mean alot to me, and you know it. You mean alot to me as a friend. Yet now, when i need you the most, you abandoned me. Killed me and left me in the gutter to rot.
But i don't blame you. You have your own problems. More than enough for you to bear. It doesnt matter that I can't share my problems with you, but at least share your problems with me? I wouldnt blame you if you didnt want to, though. Some things are best done on your own, yea?
You are my close friend. And probably one of the best I'll ever have yea? I want you to know that I'm here for you, okay? Here to share your joy and your pain. Your laughter and your tears.
Well, whatever choice you make, I'll accept it. And i'll support you. Its YOUR choice, don;t let me make it for you.
I'll end this letter with three words.
I Love You.
.::The stranger on the battlefield::.
.::SERENE::ANAREZ::.
The world went by at [2:21 PM]
Friday, August 05, 2005
Feeling unloved by the world once again. A certain JJ is out to ruin my life. I don't think I have any true friends in this world. I once thought i did, when i was naive. But now, I don't know anymore yea..
EQ is once again under JJ's spell. Because according to a source, JJ got one of EQ's close friends, someone he looks up to, Mu Ye, to follow in what JJ has to say. So EQ, being naive and gullible, blindly followed after. Now, i think practically the whole of VS sec 2c hates me. Except maybe Benedict and Oliver. Oliver is one of the few true friends i have. The other is, of course, Tanya.
Anyway Oliver has stuck with me through thick and thin. Although I met him some time last year, I only got to know him well sometime in June. When i was super pissed at JJ, and duimped him. Yea. It was that point in time where i got to know most of the VS guys. Apparently they all didnt like JJ and think he's a freak. But why are they so eager to follow him? Why are they so quick to believe what he says? Its totally contradicting. Well I guess i'll never know...
So anyway Oliver stuck with me during that period in time when JJ was spreading rumors about me.. EQ immediately fell for it... It was when i told him that I liked him. Oliver said that he fell for JJ's lies because he was afraid i would hurt him. But i swear, I'd never do anything to hurt anyone. I wouldnt do anything to jeopardise his friendship with Oliver, which is apparently what JJ wants him to think.
This time I really dunnno what the reason is. Oliver said that EQ called him just now and asked who he was with. When he mentioned my name, JJ grabbed the phone and said "Why do you go for a dog that EQ and I dumped?" WTF la... For one, I'm not a dog. Secondly, It was me who dumped him, not he who dumped me. You should read the conversations we had on msn man. HE was practically begging me to go back with him. Dream on man... I'm not falling for that trick again. He's totally desperate. He made me sound like a slut when he described me to Aisha. About the chalet thing. Ugh he SO gets on my nerves. Screw him. He needs to get a bloody life. Wait, he already HAS a BLOODY life.
O well, i guess there are some things in this world i'll never know.
*Some things cannot be lost. Because they can never be found*
[[The stranger on the battlefield. Loved by none and hated by all]]
The world went by at [1:37 PM]
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Gen's leaving. Or has she already left? I dunno. The difference of time and space. Its confusing sometimes. Science. Lava lamps. The heat from the bottom of the lamp causes the "lava" to become less dense and it floats. When it reaches the surface, it cools, becoming more dense causing it to sink again. The cycle continues. Its a cruel world out there. Everything. Nothing's fair, nothing;s right. Everything's wrong. Everything's against me. Why?
Life is full of sorrow and pain.
The world went by at [2:55 AM]
*`Serene Chen
Anarez Yamato-San
Singaporean
FuJian Baby
3rd Sept 1991
Dancer
Christ follower
Guitarist
Drummer
Drumaholic
Drakeaholic
TKGian
Animal Lover
{Wheelch@ir g@ngster}
Creamer Girl
Sk8er girl wannabe
Surfer chick wannabe
Virgoan
Slacker
Tanned `*
.::Faves::.
*`Animals
Skateboarding
Rolerblading
Drumming
Guitaring
Dancing
Jetskiing
Jamming
Crapping
Cheese
Teppanyaki
Bacon
Japanese
Anime
Friends
Boys`*
.::People::.
*`Tanya
Shiren
Chesed
pH
Fellow 3e3ers
My Kor[[Ruosheng]**
My Di[[Weilun]**
Jia Jun
Oliver?
Brandon
The gang
The guy on the bus
The guy who asked for directions
The guy on the MRT
The guy who asked ME to donate
The guy whose name I cannot mention
The OTHER guy whose name i cannot mention
The guy who used to work at Samuel and Kevin =P `*
.::Wants NEEDS::.
*`New mp3 player
iPod
Sony Ericsson W700i
A Skateboard
New Blades
Jet Ski
Beach Villa
New slingbag
Deathnote and Deathnote2 posters
Electric Guitar
Drumset
Drake Bell CD
Hawk Nelson CD
John Tucker Must Die OST
Ayumi Hamasaki CD
Yellowcard CD
Deathnote and Deathnote2 DVDs
NIV Bible
Whole series of FMP
Whole series of Burst Angel
More mangas
Surf Shorts
That uber cool skirt
Cut my hair!
Abs
Guy's shirts
Gundam Freedom
Zoid Figurine
To be able to draw
To go to America or England
To love and be loved
A life without problems and doubts`*
.::Memories::.
*January 2005
*February 2005
*March 2005
*April 2005
*May 2005
*June 2005
*July 2005
*August 2005
*September 2005
*October 2005
*December 2005
*January 2006
*February 2006
*March 2006
*April 2006
*May 2006
*June 2006
*July 2006
*August 2006
*September 2006
*November 2006
*December 2006
*February 2007
Right now, it's all about loving yourself and embrasing your flaws
If you know relationships don't work when you're too young, why get into a relationship at all?
When the going gets tough, the tough get going, so like i said, LET'S GET GOING!!!
Judge me now, for who i am...or am I to be blamed for a crime i didn't commit?
Why quarrel if you know that you will patch up sooner or later?
Love doesn't begin in the way we think it does. Love is a battle, love is war. Love is a growing sensation.
Before you give someone a piece of your mind, make sure you have enough to spare.
It's harder to be what you are, harder to be what you are not. It's harder to know what you need, harder to know what you've got.
When the night seems to be the darkest, it means the sun will rise up soon.
Although life has it's ups and downs, NEVER surrender in this game of life.
We met and we clicked, an invisible string tied. We hope that it would not be broken, but I'm sure that will never happen.
Friends are few and far between, so... uh... make sure you cherish every single one?
Friends are rare and hard to get. Cherish them.
If you can't laugh at yourself, I will do it for you.
We're not laughing at you we're laughing near you
You want a war, you got a war. But who are you fighting for?
Carpe diem, seize the day, make your lives extraordinary
Carpe diem, even if it kills me
For the first time in my life, I know what I want to do! And for the first time, I'm going to DO IT! Whether my father wants me to or not! Carpe diem!
But only in their dreams can men be truly free. 'Twas always thus, and always thus will be
Just remember, inside every girl, there's a boy. Wait, that sounded wrong.
Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them
The Words
Just because I don't reply
Doesn't mean I'm avoiding you
Just because we don't talk anymore
Doesn't mean I dont think of you
Just because time has passed
Doesn't mean I have forgotten
Just because we had a misunderstanding
Doesn't mean it's the end of us
Just because you've seen me
Doesn't mean you know how I feel
Just because we'r far apart
Doesn't mean we can't still be friends
Friends Forever~**
.::SERENE::ANAREZ::.